These days, everyone is talking about the east end. They're talking, talking, talking about how cool it is, about how happening it is, how that's where young people need to live, about all the nightlife and music happening there.

 All the reasonably priced, historic houses, all the porch swings covered in albino giraffe pelts. Listening to some people talk, you'd think that the east end was the paradise that Hasan I Sabah promised to his assassins. But I say never mind the east end—the west side is the place to be.

Oh really, you say? And why would that be? Because it is the shit. The west side of my childhood, the west side up on the hill, branching off in either direction from Edgewood drive, is absolutely my favorite part of Charleston. How can any other part of town possibly compare? It is pristine, but not sterile; quiet, but not silent; beautiful, but not plastic. The rolling hills, the clean streets, the strange and beautiful houses, the abundance of greenery and natural life, all add up to a fantastic place to live. Now it's true, there are no bars or music venues or things of that sort—and that's fine with me. I recently looked at an apartment to rent that was right behind the Empty Glass, and for me one of its main drawbacks was...that it was right behind the Empty Glass (nothing against the Glass, but I don't need to live by any bars, thanks). I suppose what I'm saying is that the West Side embodies a more mature, interesting, thoughtful and introspective side of myself.

So basically, here it is: as long as you don't need to be within walking distance of any bars, then the west side is the place to live. The good points, then: there are some very nice, affordable apartments up on the Edgewood hill; the surroundings are superb without smacking of suburban homogeneity; you are close to the best public park in the city (Cato) which also sports a decent pool, a golf course, a soccer field, an archery range, and a small network of trails; for those of you with children there is a fine elementary school and junior high school; a grocery store within walking distance (both Fas Check on West Washington and the Delaware Avenue Krogers); and the Beech Avenue bus allows easy transport to downtown. Plus I'm sure there's at least one awesome thing I've forgotten.

By contrast, every other area of town has major drawbacks. The east end is flat and boring, plus it's sort of Charleston's de facto party central (if you're 18-22, I suppose that's a good thing). South Charleston just totally sucks; South Hills not only has nothing within walking distance, it doesn't even have sidewalks. Not only is there nothing to walk to, but you can't walk period. Kanawha City is just a giant strip mall with a residential district thrown in to make it seem a little less like a giant strip mall.

There you go, kids, it's actually true: the west side is the best side. Take it from me, Dr. Tim.

-Dr. Tim