(theatre) No Pants Players' Filth Flarn Filth Show

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Written by Stuart Frazier

Monday, 26 July 2010 10:36

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An open letter to the No Pants Players, West Virginia's Premier Improv Comedy Troupe, from Dr. William H. Cosby, Jr. (Note- Richards Cosby and Pryor didn't really write this. Come on, people.)

Dear Sirs and Madam,

I would like to talk to you, about some of the things that you folks do in your show. Now let me tell you a story. I have been in comedy since 1962, you see. Therefore I have seen quite a lot of acts on stage, screen, television, and now on the computer which I have just learned how to turn on. In 1964, after I married my wife Camille, I wanted to take her out to a comedy show. I had bought tickets to a young man named Lenny Bruce who I had not known at the time, but thought he might be funny because he had two first names like my friend back when I was a child, Carl Henry. Carl Henry always wore a purple shirt in the neighborhood, you know that kid. We'd say "hey Carl Henry, how come you always got on that purple shirt?" And he'd respond, "Because I wanna be fancy!"

Anywho, I walk into our little studio apartment at the time where my wife is fixing dinner and she's got a big smile on her face. And she's fixing it up, man. She's got a bowl and a spoon and she's stirring it up. With a great big smile on my face, I show her the tickets to Lenny Bruce and she says "who is that?" I say, "do you remember Carl Henry" so she says "Oh yes, the boy with the purple shirt." "Well," I say, "he's funny like him, let's go to his show." So off we go.

NOW. We returned home at 4AM. We had different expressions on our faces. We both just heard things that we have never heard before. To summarize, he comes out and says "suck this, and kiss this, and ram it down and your throat, and look at my big stuff!" I followed that young man's career for the next couple of years where it turns out he died from too many drugs.

The point I'm trying to say to you, No Pants Players is this. You CANNOT say Filth Flarn Filth in front of people. It is my understanding that on July 31, you will be having some sort of "Adults Only" show featuring all sorts of filth flarn filth. And no, I can't use the type of language YOU use, but you know what I mean when I say filth flarn filth. I am certain that the Alban Theater, the venue of your little show, has better things to do with its time than give you a stage to corrupt an audience. Even if ticket are only $10, the least expensive admission price in town, it is no excuse for what has been described for the "most hilarious people on the planet." Since when does clever, controversial, and risque equal comedy? I do not care if you draw hundreds of people every show. You simply cannot say these things. I want you to know that Camille and I will not be at your show on July 31 at 10PM in St. Albans, WV. I encourage you to reconsider your material and may God have mercy on your souls.

Sincerely,

Dr. William H. Cosby, Jr.

Rebuttal from the ghost of Richard Pryor:

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Last Updated on Monday, 26 July 2010 15:22

Comments

0 #3 Seattlesbest 2010-07-27 19:21

Sometimes, I just feel like Ive been raped in the mouth! Then those No Pants guys make it all better!

0 #2 John Locke 2010-07-26 22:11

Dear Dr Cosby...I must say that I will have to pass on your suggestion that I not attend the NPP Adult Show. I must say that you...Dr. Cosby are the source of my borderline diabetes. As a child, I enjoyed your Jell-o pudding pop ads to the extent that I could only find solice in a gluttonous rage induced by said pops, and with that said, I am now a 40 yr old who must watch his diet and must each like a rabbit...Thanks for nothing Cos!
I shall be at the Alban with my lovely wife, and newly found NPPN's, my neighbors.